Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The Moderate Complementarian

As many of you know, Katrina & I are - very definitely(and, some would say, stridently) - complementarian in our theology and worldview. However, we often find that we're more moderate in our complementarianism than many of our online comp. friends and acquaintances.

Now, for those of you who are aware that our complementarian convictions were most of what lead us to leave a church we'd been worshipping and growing at for 1.5 years(several years ago), us - or anyone - describing us as "moderate" complementarians may sound like something you'd care to counterpoint. But, I assure you, among the complementarians we're aware of - most of whom we're aware of online, not in our "real life" - we're moderates.

This moderation shows itself in many ways. For one, we only have 2 kids, and that's all we plan on having. There are many reasons for this decision, most of which are too personal to share here. One is the simple fact that I'm 42, so I'll be 60 when Sarah's 18. That's not the only reason, tho it is a big one.

But, regardless of what our reasons are, this flies in the face of the mainstream comp thought on family size which seems to hold that birth control for comps means "Only 'do it' with your spouse". We've nothing against large families and we know of several large families who are blessings to their parents, their churches, and - seemingly - all they come in contact with. But we're also aware of large families that are anything but good examples, witnesses, or testimonies. All of which proves nothing, other than family size isn't anything moral or immoral in and of itself.

There are many other ways in which this moderation manifests itself in the life and lives of our family. But if I were to elaborate further, this entry might never end! ;)

I've been reading many different complementarian blogs of late. They're not too hard to find, usually, cuz once you find an overtly complementarian blog, you'll usually find links to many others on and/or in it.

They all seem to suffer the same ills:

1) They're all too willing to make sweeping, categorical, binary statements, in which their personal convictions and/or preferences are declared to be God's Will for All Complementarians(if not all Christians, unless they consider "Christian Complementarian" redundant). It's one thing to be "black and white" on topics Scripture's relatively(or blatantly) clear about(1). But it's another thing when Scripture's legitimately vague about a topic(2), or doesn't even address it at all, even in principle(3). Those who make blanket statements about items or topics in category 2(above) bug me and those who do so with topics in category 3 are really tough to take, even in small doses sometimes.

2) They all seem to presume(if not outright @$$ume) that all comps agree(or should) on All Matters Of Faith, Doctrine, & Practice, including many which have little if any direct bearing, link, or relationship to one's complementarian convictions. These include(but are not limited to) assuming that all comps are(or should/eventually will be) 5-point Calvinists and/or assuming that all Comps(or all "mature" comps or all "complete" comps) are cessationists. I'm all but 2 of those.


I'd LUV to find a comp website(blog or other) that didn't make all their conclusions on their personal convictions or preferences out to be declarations for all of comp. Christendom. I'd also LUV to find a comp site(ditto) that didn't presume that all comps agree on the validity(or lack thereof) of the Sign Gifts for today, the "Doctrines of Grace(aka Reformed Theology or Calvinism)", the validity of CCM and/or contemporary praise & worship music, etc.

Maybe I'll have to start such a site? ;)


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