Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Peace & Perspective Needed

Like the title says, I really need some peace and perspective right now. Things have been going a lot better in my life and marriage lately, but today was a really lousy day all around, topped off by a small-scale conflict with Katrina(somewhat concerning Rebekah) and - at first, in the "heat of the moment" - that seemed to negate and/or undo all the progress and change I'd sensed or noticed recently.

But I can already sense the peace coming and I already know that my perspective's beginning to change. Cuz I now know that none of that progress or change is negated and I now also have a much better, more positive, more peaceful, less agitated, less irrational attitude about most if not all of it. I need more change and more of a(complete) perspective change, but I believe that'll come, in time.

I know that when changes are made and progress starts, satan's attacks intensify. Katrina & I even talked about that some tonight, tho more in the context of why my day was and went so lousy and/or in the context of our church(cuz we think we see/sense satanic attack in specific areas there too).

Well, I know that that's true when postitive changes are initiated in a marriage/family as well. And I know that that's part of what's going on here. So I need to be sure that my efforts aid the GOOD side of this fight and NOT the bad!

I really need to start doing some of the things I want/need to do around here, and at least starting on or taking action on some of the bigger projects too. I could make a very long list of things I want to start doing or changing around here if I wanted to make a list, but I think I already know what most of those things are, so I think I'd better start DOING some of them rather than just LISTING any or all of them. Not only do lists not help any of the projects start, but seeing all the items on a list can also be at least somewhat overwhelming sometimes.

I really want to have more productive days. I've been thinking about how much smoother things'd go around here if Kat got one thing done after work each day(besides dinner-related stuff), well, how about I apply that concept to ME?

I really need to get into some sort of routine. Get up and go to bed at more or less the same time every day eat at regular times, take my meds DAILY, etc.

If you're reading this, please pray for me(personally), Katrina, and our marriage/family. Pray that we'll have more perspective, peace, humility, discernment, and patience than we usually do.

I called Pastor Randy tonight, and I have an appointment to talk with him tomorrow at 7:30. He offered to meet with both of us, but I really think it'd be best if he meets with just me, at least at first.

I think I need some in-person input on a new perspective or "angle". I think I need to view a few things differently, approach some stuff differently, etc. Even tho I'm not making lists like I so often do, I know I'm stuck in "the paralysis of analysis" at least somewhat here.


Post a Comment

<< Home